By Matt Kenny
I’m up against Arctic Puppets (Bogenreif). Puppets is coming off of 4 straight losses. Lacy, poor QB performance and tough opponents being the contributors. Although I’ve put up an average of about 125 points for the last 3 games, I’ve only won 2 of 3, and have been digging myself out of a hole since the abysmal start of the season. This will be close. The QB #s will probably be the deciding factor. (Puppets 123.8 - Sorry 98.1).
Hanus and Goombas face off in what should be a high-scoring game. Both teams are stacked and it could really go either way. Hanus is one of the league leaders in his record and yet he’s only one game away from the middle of the pack. (Goombas 115 - Hanus 111)
Renner and RockFanClub are tied up at 4-3. Both are coming off of 100+ point wins last week. Renner is undoubtedly at a disadvantage with Arian Foster out. Rock’s team name should be in Brady We Trust. He almost put up 30 points last week. (Renner 107 – Rock 95 *if he doesn’t change his lineup*)
Dirks and Rag Tag Group of Champions are the worst two teams in the league. Rag Tag scored a meager 50 points last week. Both need a miracle to stand a chance of making the playoffs. ESPN has this one close (Dirks 97 – Rag Tag 95)
Jerkin Jiggins (5-2) has been consistently scoring 100+ points. He faces Surge (4-3) who’s had been a little more up and down. As it stands, Surge will need a big performance from Denver in NO to make it close. (Surge 91.7 *if he doesn’t change his lineup*– Jiggins 121.5)
Chad Ocho Seed Co (3-4) and Heldt the Delt are both coming off of low-scoring losses last week. With Cam Newton playing against Indy and Tannehil vs. the Patriots, I like Cam in this matchup. However, Ocho has Dez back in the mix. Unknown variable in a Dallas offense he's just getting back with. (Heldt 105 – Ocho 92.6)
Las Tortugas (5-2) vs. Never Say Wombat (4-3)
A classic rivalry for the ages. Las Tortugas suffered the loss of Arian Foster in Week 7, which was expected albeit not this soon. Fortunately their roster is deep. Wombat is swimming in a pool of mediocrity. His team is still strong but it needs to get going in order to ensure a playoff spot. They still have an outside shot at a top 2 seed if they really take off. This is a key match up for both teams but probably more so for Knust.
Prediction: I just said Wombat. What are you going to do about it Knust? I like Turtles.
Phuket Rippers (6-1) vs. Duncombe Demons (3-4)
The Rippers are making a case as the team to beat in the President's league and find themselves alone in first place after a well-earned victory against Las Tortugas. Sullivan has a good problem on his hands with several dangerous WR. The Demons on the other hand find themselves in a position to make the playoffs with if they can get a win in Week 8. If Dez Bryant can sack up and play, that would provide TMike a boost, even with Matt Cassel throwing to him. Kudos to the Demons for keeping their heads above water through injury.
Prediction: I'm calling the upset. I'll take the Demons.
Swamp Donkeys (2-5) vs. Dallas Dictators (2-5)
Not sure what to say about this one. The Donkeys get Rapelisberger back and the Dictators are starting Ahmad Bradshaw. Both teams are in need of a win to keep the illusion of a playoff berth alive. The loser is pretty much done. Masker is benefitting from playing a Dictator team who has half their team on bye.
Prediction: Have to take the Donkeys here. Dictators are missing too many players this week.
Backalley Bootleggers (3-4) vs. Haarig Holzfallers (5-2)
The league leader in points are the Holzfallers, yet they find themselves in second place. Meanwhile, according to Knust's bullshit power rankings, the Bootleggers are overachieving at 3-4. Bianchi's team is definitely a top tier team and is in contention for a first round playoff bye. All of his players in Week 8 are projected to have double digit points sans the kicker. Denton is just hoping Peyton Manning dies or gets his arm torn off so he can finally stop playing him.
Prediction: Fear the Beard (I like saying that). Give me the Holzfallers.
Upper Decker (3-4) vs. Arnie's Pizza Shop (1-6)
Slow clap for APS as they finally got their first W of the season. Upper Decker is trending in the wrong direction but could turn things around this week. The roster is still potentially dangerous. If Stewart wants to defend his title, this week is a must win.
Prediction: Upper Decker gets back to .500.
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK:
The Mirthmobile (4-3) vs. Uncle Abe (4-3)
For as much as Bamrick bitches about his team, he's actually pretty well off. I mean, at least he's not starting Ahmad Bradshaw. The Mirthmobile has found resurgence with Mike Evans and Lamar Miller pulling their heads out of their asses. Uncle Abe is trending in the wrong direction, coming off a Week 7 loss with key players on bye. Julio Jones is due to drop a 30-burger at anytime, so this might be the week. This is definitely a big game for both teams as the playoff picture begins to clear up.
Prediction: Mirthmobile. I'm still pissed at Lincoln for ending my legendary win streak.
By Juice, Barking Spiders
Allright buttholes. Holy Bye Week for teams!! Only week that will be worse is next week. Week 8is upon us and there is one team which looks like its playoff bound for sure. Freaking Billy
Edwards. Somehow is 7-0. D.Butthole is in second place at 5-2. Tito is already doing better than
he did all of last year so he has a massive woody over this. HIs season is already a success.
D. Whit (Hellhounds) vs Raval (Barking Spiders)
Damn. That hellhounds symbol is freaking sweet. Thats all thats sweet about the hellhounds thisweek. A. Luck is the most hated fantasy QB because he gave teams hope. Ranking 22nd
amongst QB’s, he has a hellacious matchup against the Carolina D. Oh Shit…scrolled down
and saw that he is also starting Moncrief. Bad News. Huge upside to having Big Ben back for
A.Brown though. Both of us won our last games and as soon as I find a dumb ass QB to take offwaivers, im taking your ass DOWN!
D.Hanks vs K.Swinton (RedHawks)
Damn Hanks…since that point correction that gave you a win 4 weeks ago, you have taken a
serious nose dive into the realm of dusty’s deep dark butthole. Ill bet Chris Johnson is going to
penetrate the shit out of the cleveland Defense and will put up huge numbers and Hanks will
continue his freefall back into the gold league.
B.Nels vs A.Nigro
Both teams have a 3-4 record and neither team is really affected by the bye week situation so
this should be fairly good matchup. Lots of questions here. Will New England run the ball at all?
Will Cam Newton throw 3 INT’s? Can Detroit play in in Europe? Will Nigro start Rivers or
Rodgers? With the personnel Nigro has its hard not to give him the nod on this one.
T. Schmitt (God's Country Cat Daddies) vs The Po-Po
Poor T.J Poor, Poor TJ. His team WAS a nightmare to play. Consistently getting a shitload of
points and his record is worse than it should be…I mean, what can you do when the other team
scores 174 points (sorry, TJ). One team is on a W3, the other on a L3. Its going to be a rough
week for the Cat Daddies as Murray, Teldon on bye weeks, New England not running the ball,
and Foster being Donzo for the season. The Enforcers favored to win this one with Cutler
throwing the ball to his TE a lot.
D.Kroll vs Jesus walks
When you draft by committee plus, a touch of luck (Devonta Freeman, C.Palmer) , equals
Dustys 5-2 record. Having Edelman and GRONK helps immensely as well. On the other side,
you do have…uhhh…who drafted this crap? Dusty with the butthole blowout of the most racist
D.Schuchmann (Evil Knievels) vs B. Edwards
Billy Edwards wins because Dalton throws the ball to AJ Green. Oh, AJ Green only has 3 TDs?
Is it Antonio Andrews (who?)? …Nooooo. Oh…I forgot Dalton is lights out, Keenan Allen has his
first year of not failing at fantasy. But, in reality, its luck. he is ranked 6th in points scored and is
second to last for points allowed. Sadly, his opposing team is last in points scored against…and
last in points scored. Pure stats here…B.E goes to 8-0. I blame Schuch. IF only Dez was back
and Flacco would quit sucking balls.
By Josh Knust, Never Say Wombat
I just wanted to send out an update to the Power Rankings for the one or two of you (hopefully) that is mildly interested in them. Below I have included two tables, one being the season-long rankings and the other with the same statistical calculations done over just the last three weeks. The season-long stats are important, but the more recent statistics can show us some trends that are developing in this crucial part of the season.
Week 7 gave us a couple of head-scratchers. Koch and Arnie’s Pizza Shop, the only team in the league without a win, took down in commanding fashion Bianchi and the Holzfallers, one of the best teams in the league. Lincoln had an uncharacteristically quiet week with several key players on byes and was edged out by the struggling defending champions, Upper Decker. The other games came out more or less as expected; Austin beat Jameson in the brother showdown, I beat Denton while he left a bunch of points on the bench, and T-Mike’s Demons beat Masker’s Donkeys in what seemed like a very uninteresting match. The game of the week was a shootout between Sullivan’s Rippers and Dave-O’s Tortugas, where Sully stretched his winning streak to five games.
Despite the suffering his second loss of the season, Bianchi remains atop the season-long Power Rankings. Sullivan continues to rise during his blistering streak, followed by Dave-O (whose only losses this year are to top-four teams) and Lincoln. In the beginning of the season, the Power Scores could be grouped into distinct tiers where a few teams had almost identical scores, but as the season progresses, we are starting to see the spectrum become more continuous and fluid along the spectrum. This is to be expected with larger sample sizes. Like I wrote a few weeks ago, teams like Jameson’s Dictators continue to seem better than their record shows, and teams like Denton’s Bootleggers may be worse than their record shows, this being due to the disparity between their Power Rank and ESPN standing.
The table for the last three weeks has some interesting information. First off, Stewart has had a fortuitous last three weeks, because despite ranking last in the power rankings over that streak, he wound up winning two games while never scoring above 85.4 points. Second, Lincoln is in a bit of a slide going 1-2 in matches and scoring his lowest two point totals of the season in the last two weeks. Sullivan and Dave-O have been on a tier of their own the last three weeks each scoring an average of more than 135 points per week
It is still too early to start running playoff scenarios, but I will put some of those together starting after Week 9. Something tells me that if the power keeps clustering at the top, a team with a losing record (6-7) is going to have a shot at making the six-team playoff. Teams in the middle with stolen wins against the top teams (like Mirthmobile beating the Holzfallers in W3) will set themselves up for good final positioning. Those middle teams also need to beat the people that they are supposed to beat, and not doing so could spell disaster for their shot at the playoffs (like Mirthmobile losing to the Swamp Donkeys in W6). In this case, Austin and the Mirthmobile are kind of a zero-sum example, but going forward, these types of wins or losses will be very definitive.
By Jeff Edwards,Hawaii Humuhumu Nukunukuapua'a
Hawaii Humuhumu Nukunukuapua'a (J Edwards, 2-3) vs Reggie Ray (Renner, 1-4)
Both teams feature a hit-or-miss roster. Reggie Ray will need the right Eddie Lacy, Lamar Miller, and Jordan Matthews to show up or he may be in trouble. For Edwards, other than studs Aaron Rodgers and Deandre Hopkins, the rest of the Humuhumus could very well post decent yet unexciting lines. This matchup could be a tough fight, but don’t be fooled – there is no need to tune in to this yawn fest. Go watch Dan Moran play the recorder – it’ll be more entertaining, and easier on the ears than Renner yelling.
Dual Wielding Alpacas (Crispin, 4-1) vs. Team Jean Rack (Langtimm, 2-3)
I’m writing this on Friday afternoon. Devonta Freeman scored 31.6 points last night for the Alpacas and Crispin’s remaining lineup isn’t full of schmucks. Looks like Crispin is going to hang Langtimm on the Jean Rack, leaving Ryan at 2-4.
Hashtag Tommy (Tieds, 4-1) vs Cloudwalkers (Benda, 4-1)
In what should be the matchup of the week for the Royal Purple division, Hashtag Tommy’s squad doesn’t seem to have the firepower after losing Jamaal Charles to keep up with the Cloudwalkers this week. Timeshare members Joseph Randle and Rashad Jennings just won’t do it and we are still looking for Demarco Murray to show up, just like we keep looking for the slutty pumpkin girl from Halloween.
Vintage Bamrick (Postler, 1-4) vs California Boat Rockers (Ward, 3-2)
This is a matter of ‘which player shows up to play this week’. For Vintage Bamrick will Andrew Luck and Arian Foster finally live up to their names or will they piss the bed like a drunk Taylor Sweeney? The Boat Rockers are looking stingier with points than a Bryce Rockers; Ward will need Megatron, Brandon Marshall, and Carlos Hyde to work it like Ward on a DDR mat.
Dallas Flying Fortress (Tex, 2-3) vs ROBODRAGONS !!! (Pratt, 1-4)
This is the worst matchup of this week. Tex probably wins. In other news, they should’ve shown this video at our fraternity Sex Ed talks we had to check the box on.
Drone Rangers (Von G, 3-2) vs Fighting Firkins (Shannon, 3-2)
This is a link to WE ARE T SHAN, the touching 2009 Pulitzer Prize award-winning photo series. Not that anything else matters at this point, but I think T Shan eeks out the win, despite having CJ Anderson continuing to suck.
By Josh Knust, Never Say Wombat
After this week, we will be halfway through the regular season, and teams are starting to feel the heat in the race for the six playoff slots. Who the top four teams are is very apparent (Haarig Holzfallers, Uncle Abe, Las Tortugas, and Phuket Rippers), and it looks like the only way they can be beaten going forward is by each other or by a brilliant performance from one of the also-rans (see: The Mirthmobile in Week 3). It is too early to start talking seriously about the playoff bracket, but we are getting to the point in the season where some teams are becoming locks to make it and locks to miss out. For the teams in the middle of the pack, the result of this week is going to go a long way towards determining their playoff statuses. Some owners can taste the playoffs already, some are fighting to not get relegated, and some are fighting to not get relegated all the way to the bottom.
#5 The Mirthmobile (3-2, ABAM) vs #12 Swamp Donkeys (1-4, TMAS)
The Mirthmobile is quietly riding a three-game win streak coming into this week’s game, and look to come back stronger this week after getting four players back off of byes. On the other hand, Masker and the Swamp Donkeys are struggling, only breaking ninety points once this season (Week 2). I don’t expect anything different this week and have The Mirthmobile winning in a rout.
Edge: The Mirthmobile (ABAM)
#9 Upper Decker (2-3, MSTE) vs #6 Dallas Dictators (1-4, JBAM)
This is a match-up of two teams who, in my opinion, are much better than their records show. Upper Decker passes the eye test and looks like a solid team that has underperformed or performed inconsistently early in the year. The Dallas Dictators have scored 114 or more points in three different weeks of the season only to be beat by great performances from their opponents in each of those games. The Dictators suffered a huge loss in Week 5 when Jamaal Charles sustained a season-ending injury. Bye-weeks and injuries are hitting the Dictators hard this week and they will be thin going up against an all-available Upper Decker team. This is a must win for Jameson and the Dictators, but I think Upper Decker pulls the minor upset, “going into the locker room” with a record of 3-3, while the Dictators drop to a brutal 1-5.
Edge: Upper Decker (MSTE)
#11 Arnie’s Pizza Shop (0-5, DKOC) vs #7 Never Say Wombat (2-3, JKNU)
Logan and Arnie’s Pizza Shop is last in the league standings and eleventh in the power rankings, and have not broken eighty points in the last three weeks. My Never Say Wombat team has had up-and-down weeks, and its status as a below average team is not something I would dispute. Injuries to key players and underperformance by other top picks have forced both of these teams to get aggressive on the waiver wire, and the two come into this game with the two of the lowest remaining auction budgets at $45 (T-Mike dropped to $43 after spending $33 on Charcandrick West and $10 on Knile Davis in last night’s waiver auction). This match-up is my pick for Pillow Fight of the Week, where I predict that the pattern of underperformance will continue for both teams, but NSW gets the win on the back of some players coming off of injury (I’m looking at you, Marshawn).
Edge: Never Say Wombat (JKNU)
#3 Las Tortugas (4-1, DTAY) vs #8 Duncombe Demons (2-3, TMIC)
It is a tired narrative to keep referring to the multitude of injuries that the T-Mike’s team has had this year, but it is proving to be too much to overcome and the Demons are 2-3 because of it. It is hard to predict how the Demons will show this week because they have the most inconsistent scoring of any team in the league by a wide margin at 35.7 points (the next highest standard deviation is 20.8 points by The Mirthmobile). He’s made some good pick-ups (Willie Snead and the aforementioned Charcandrick West) and has some pieces that could put together a good week, but it will not be enough to topple the Tortugas. Dave-O has himself a good squad.
Edge: Las Tortugas (DTAY)
#10 Backalley Bootleggers (3-2, DPAT) vs #4 Phuket Rippers (4-1, MSUL)
This one is projected to be the closest match of the week, with Denton and the Bootleggers projected to win 112.1-111.1 at the time of this writing. Sullivan and his Rippers have won the last three games and have put up some dominant scores during that streak (his 129.9, 128.0, and 133.4 points are the highest total in the league during that time period). I wrote last week about how the Bootleggers have been underperforming despite a solid record, but with Gronkowski back from a bye and DeMarco finally at full strength, the Bootleggers may have a shot. Projected score versus final output is not something I track, but I have noticed that the Rippers typically exceed their projected value, and I do not yet have faith in the Bootleggers to choose them over the streaking Rippers.
Edge: Phuket Rippers (MSUL)
#1 Haarig Holzfallers (4-1, ABIA) vs #2 Uncle Abe (4-1, NLIN)
And here we have it, the marquee game of the week, if not the year. Respectively, the Holzfallers and Uncle Abe are one-and-two in scoring, one-and-three in scoring consistency, and one-and-two in ceiling (the amount of points possible when retroactively setting a perfect line-up). The scoring projections for this one are modest, and have Bianchi’s Holzfallers edging Uncle Abe by a score of 107.7-102.0. However, these are two other teams that consistently blow their projections out of the water, so it is really anyone’s guess. I think Julio Jones is the x-factor in this match-up. We are fast approaching the Thursday night game, and if Julio can’t go or just isn’t his normal self, the Holzfallers take it comfortably. In the end, the only thing that this game will affect is how highly these two teams are seeded in the playoffs for which they will inevitably qualify.
Edge: Haarig Holzfallers (ABIA)
By Josh Knust, Never Say Wombat
Week 4 was a strange week in the President’s League. There was a minor upset with Austin Bamrick’s Mirthmobile toppling the defending champion Mike Stewart and Upper Decker, and a little bigger upset where Mark Sullivan’s Rippers cruised to a strong victory over Nate Lincoln’s team (because of this game, there are no longer any undefeated teams in the league). None of this is that crazy, and the other games worked out as projected, but the major difference between this week and the past few is the low volume of scoring.
Weeks 1-3 saw significantly higher scores averaging 109.1, 101.3, and 118.5 points per team in those weeks. The league average this week was a dismal 89.2 points per team. My first thought was that people had to have left an inordinate amount of points on the bench, but the coaching efficiencies (Points Scored divided by Points Scored Under An Ideal Lineup) were not that much different than the previous weeks. This is shown in the table below.
Whether this means something important or not is unclear, and the low scoring volume may be attributed to the start of bye weeks or to the large amount of injuries in the league so far in this young season. Scoring volume will be a number I will monitor in the coming weeks, if only for the sake of my curiosity.
I am continuing to play around with the formula for the Power Rankings to better reflect the true state of the league. Since the first iteration, I have reduced the importance of actual record and increased the importance of the amount of points scored and the team’s “ceiling”, or the amount of points someone could have scored if they had perfectly set their lineup. The breakdown is currently 10% record, 15% record against the field, 35% points scored, 25% ceiling, and 15% coaching efficiency. Below are the rankings after Week 4.
Bianchi and Lincoln remain solidly atop the rankings due mainly to their terrific scoring. There is a dense cluster in the five through nine slots with Austin, T-Mike, Stewart, Knust, and Jameson all falling within a range of 2.3 Power Score points. Koch and Masker continue to struggle and fall in a lower tier of the rankings. The starkest difference between the basic ESPN Standing and the Power Rankings involves Denton’s Backalley Bootleggers.
At 3-1 and sitting in fifth on the ESPN Standings, the Bootleggers rank only tenth in the power rankings. In this short season, the Bootleggers have been a bit of an enigma, and have a standard deviation of 24.1 points in the population of weekly scores, second only to Austin Bamrick’s Mirthmobile at 25.4. Other than a Week 1 outlier where the Bootleggers scored 124.4 with huge performance from Rob Gronkowski, Keenan Allen, and Carlos Hyde, the team hasn’t broken 100 points in any of the other three weeks.
We are still operating on a small sample size with only four weeks of play from which to draw conclusions, but a separation in tier is starting to become apparent.
Upper Decker vs The Mirthmobile
Imagine dear reader if you will: two former championship teams facing off for the first time in a year. One coming off the most frustrating loss you could think of (getting raped by t-mike after he lost like 35 guys in the first week), the other fresh off of glorious victory in one of the most stunning upsets in program history (think ISU vs OkieState 2011). Now imagine those teams are actually shitty and are battling for being .500 on the year and one of them used their 3rd round pick on fucking lamar miller.
1.) Is drew brees going to play?
2.) Am I really starting two players from the browns over lamar miller?
3.) Should lamar miller be nuked into the sun?
1.) Yes and will drop 40 points on my ass
2.) Yes, see #3
Prediction: Tie. Upper decker gets another huge week from Green and Steve Smith, while AP and Mike Evans tear shit up for the Mirth.
Final Score: 12-12
Backalley Bootleggers vs Duncombe Demons
Here we have two 2-1 teams in a fairy epic matchup of which team is going to have a player that has hit 30 points in a week completely shit all over themselves. Will it be Carolos Hyde, who after his massive breakout in week 1 decided to literally fuck his own face the next two weeks? Or will it be....oh wait blount is on a bye. Have fun Denton!
1.5.)How is Tmike's team 2-1 with Dez bryant and Jordy Nelson out for eternity? What is wrong with you people?
2.) Is there a guy who plays in the NFL named Ted Ginn Jr or is ESPN fucking with me?
3.) What would it take for people to stop having Darren McFadden on their fantasy teams?
1.5)This cannot be answered. Could be a sign that the Matrix is failing and we all have a very finite amount of time remaining anyway so who cares.
2.) No there is not.
3.) He would have to be dead, and even then give it a year or two of morons picking him up off waivers.
Prediction: all signs point to a dominating win from the bootleggers. Instead i have Derek Carr through a glitch accidentally throwing the ball so far it lands in minnesota's stadium where Charles Johnson happens to catch it in the endzone, the massive amount of points giving t-mike the win by .5 .
Final score: 100-100.5 (t-mikes scores read 100.5, 0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0).
Arnie's Pizza Shop vs Las Tortugas
Logan's team is so fucking bad that LeSean Mcoy is actually projected to get negative zero points. When you getting 86 points total in the week, projected, hinges on CJ ANDERSON getting 13 of them, you know you are in for some deep shit. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.
1.) Can most of Logan's players hit their average instead of their projections? If so it might be close ish? Maybe? I'm not going to do the math.
2.) Will Jordan Matthews or Jarvis Landry get the only reception Ryan Tannehil manages to squirt out of his ass? Could be a difference maker folks.
3.) Can Devonta Freeman continue to actually get away with murder on the field?
1.) Yea i think so, with the exception of LeSean McCoy who is now just a blackhole after somehow managing negative 0 points.
2.) Jarvis probably, I hear he's into that stuff
3.) Its not every day your flex player outscores your starters by like 20, so no. He'll be good though.
Prediction: the horse is dead Davo. Beat it.
Final Score: 83-378
Haarig Holzfallers vs Swamp Donkeys
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH SUCK MY FUCKING DICK LARRY FITZGERALD. Now that that's out of the way lets get going. When one team is averaging over 130 a week, and the other's highest week was...90, things don't look good. But you can't give up hope TJ. What are the chances he scores 130 4 WEEKS IN A ROW?
1.) What are the chances Bianchi scores 130 for the 4th week in a row?
2.) What if Bianchi, who has now scored 130 3 times in 3 tries, does it again?
3.) Adam Bianchi, who has scored fucking 130 god damn points 3 times in a row now, COULD do it again this week. Will he?
1.) Slim to none
2.) He won't so who cares
Prediction: Swamp donkeys take it in a landslide
Final score: 130-132
Uncle Abe vs Phuket Rippers
If this were a contest for worlds most boring fantasy football team name i'd just give you the trophy right now Lincoln. But it isn't so here we are. Both these teams look pretty solid, and the projections have Lincoln coming out on top even though he is employing the "they can't hurt us if we don't let them in" strategy of not playing a defense. I think this matchup boils down to 9 things, and they are: can each player on each team outscore the other? I bet everyone is glad I'm writing this.
1.) Will LeVeon carry the rock 40 times to make up for Mike Vick being complete shit?
2.) Can Eifert get back on his horse after joining the "I'm a clownshoe" club of people who have scored 0 points this year?
3.) Can the bronco's D outscore the no defense Abe has?
1.) No doubt about it that boy is bad.
2.) Its a pretty sweet club so he might want to become and officer but to do that you need to have multiple 0's. Ask Nelson Agholor who's come pretty close.
3.) It'll be close but no.
Prediction: I think the Phukets take it, only because they have an actual team name and are playing a defense, as opposed to not playing one, which is what Lincoln is doing if you remember.
Final Score: 110-120
Never Say Wombat vs Dallas Dictators
Ahhh last but certainly not least (unless we're talking about Jameson's team), the Dictators vs Never Say Wombat. The matchup everyone has been waiting for. Jameson's team seems to be a bit of an anomoly. On paper it looks fairly intimidating, but due to some insanely bad luck sits here at 0-3 with the pizza shop. What do you say to someone who took Jonathan Stewart as their RB2? You say "at least you didn't draft lamar miller like a fucking MORON" and hope that helps.
It doesn't though.
1.) What the hell is going on with Marshawn Lynch?
2.) How does a kicker show up on the injury report?
3.) Will the age old strategy of playing whatever defense plays Jacksonville pay off big time for the Dictators?
1.) Reports indicate a dick injury. Thats it.
2.) Dan was laying some wood if you get what I'm sayin huehuehuehue
3.) No, see: Miami week 2.
Prediction: I think the Dictators get a win this week strictly because my team took a massive dump on my chest when I played Wombat and I'm still pissed at lamar miller for it.
Final Score: 115-123
2018 Assist Raffle Tracker
T. Shannon - 24
J. Edwards - 1