The year is 2014. The brisk winter winds engulf the nation. Children huddle against their mothers next to crackling fires seeking warmth and security. In another corner of the country, Taylor Zachar whimpers to his wife. “Why did it have to be me? I work so hard and my team should be dominant. My fucking RB 1 has completely underperformed and no matter how many articles I read in the Knews about streaming kickers, I just can’t turn it into points!”
“There, there,” his wife consoles him. “At least you’re getting your year of pissboyhood out of the way early. What are the odds you could possibly repeat this feat? I mean, it’s more statistically probable to win your league!” A wave of warmth washes over Taylor, and winter slowly melts into a gorgeous spring. “She’s right,” He mutters to himself. “This league is going to be my bitch.”
Fast forward a mere two years, and the walls of his already shaky existence are crumbling to the ground. Thoughts of suicide creep into his mind hourly, and he clings to the idea that he just might avoid the Piss Boy crown with a few more wins. But hope…hope is a fragile thing. In week 8, Taylor found out exactly just how brittle it is.
In a painfully mediocre affair, the Sawed Off’s, lead by scrappy and innovative young manager Ben Freese, mercifully decapitated the Corsairs. History will remember this as a kind act, for man has no business colluding with that tempting mistress, hope.
Long after the monuments of mankind have crumbled, when the skyscrapers have fallen and the D League is no more, let history remember that Ben Freese put the final nail in Taylor Zachar’s Piss Boy coffin.
2018 Assist Raffle Tracker
T. Shannon - 24
J. Edwards - 1