By A. Bamrick
Most people that have played or currently play fantasy football know the name Matthew Berry. He’s been the most recognizable name in FF for as long as I have been playing, and has managed to turn watching football into a multi-million dollar a year contract with his own weekly column, tv show, and podcast.
To clarify, Berry has successfully turned being wrong and bad at his job into MILLIONS OF DOLLARS AND HIS OWN TV SHOW.
Since I am jealous and extremely bored at work, I’ve decided that every week (Wednesdays hopefully) I’ll break down Berry's dumbass LOVE/HATE list and rip apart everything he got wrong. I have the power of hindsight and cherry picking, which means i can never be wrong and that these articles won’t be able to help you chuckleheads set your lineups until it's too late and berry has already lead you to your demise.
I will leave you with this on tip: from the moment the first person typed “LOL NICE CALL ON MIKE VICK RETARD” and pressed tweet at Mr. Derry some 6 years ago, he has wanted nothing but misery for all of you. Do not trust him.
Joe Mixon - 17 attempts, 29 yards. Hey Berry maybe don’t recommend the RB running behind the worst offensive line in the nfl going up against a solid rush D that held fucking LeVeon Bell to 40 yards. Hey Jerry maybe stop beating up on Field Yates in your little 4 man ESPN league of children and come join the big leagues.
Christiaan McCaffery - Top 15 play for Mr. Lerry this week, who absolutely went OFF for 6.9 points. The difference between the #1 rb and the #15 rb was 15 points this week, so saying “top 15” is another way of saying I‘m pretty sure this guy has 4 limbs and will play running back. Matthew is the king of saying “er well this guy is out so look for this guy to gobble up all the targets that are left over” which essentially never fucking happens. There are other WRs on the roster kids, they will be handling the WR targets that the QB throws to his WRs.
Tarik Cohen - Berry’s twitter feed is probably still a dumpster fire after Jordan Howard made him look like a fucking clown last week, so instead of manning up and saying oh hey maybe the #1 rb on a run first offense might be a good play he goes with the guy every 12 year old on reddit is raging about. Actually the more I think about it the more I’m certain berry just looks on r/fantasyfootball and copies whatever the most upvoted comment is into his column. Of course he removes the source, because nobody would take a recommendation by user “pm_me_cake_farts” seriously.
Golden Tate - I said this in the groupme but the idea that Xavier Rhodes would only be covering Marvin Jones and not Tate was incredibly stupid the moment it was put on paper. Tate scored double digits weeks 1 and 3, and single digits week 2 and 4. A pattern has emerged folks and SOMEONE isn’t in on it.
Devante Parker - I recommend you start a WR who is playing in London coming off a game where he was absolute dogshit until the last drive of the game. I recommend you throw your week away because I hate you and want you to die.
Rishard Matthews - Why would you recommend rishard matthews to anybody when Josh Gordon is rumored to be getting reinstated?
Jimmy Graham - I’m pretty sure Matthew goes home and grabs the lube while pulling up the targets report on PFF and just goes to town. Graham leads the TE position in redzone targets, which would fucking rule if we were in a league that gave points for having a ball come within like 10 feet of you. LEADS THE LEAGUE IN REDZONE TARGETS. HAS ZERO TOUCHDOWNS. LOVE HIM START HIM IN ALL FORMATS.
Titans D - The Talented Mister Roto gets a lot wrong but it’s rare even for him to have those recommendations actually lose you points. This was a tasty one folks, lap it up.
Lamar Miller - I too recommend you sit a starting running back who is pretty much guaranteed 15-20 touches a game in a run first offense with a great defense and a quarterback who is mobile as fuck so opposing teams will have to sell out to stop him.The Jordan Howard of week 4, we now have back to back weeks that berry has told people to sit an RB that hits nearly 30 points. Look for D’Onta Foreman to hit that LOVE list next week.
Hunter Henry - Philip Rivers throws the ball 80 times a game and yet somehow players on the chargers still keep ending up here. It’s bad and gerry should feel bad.
Ameer Abdullah - ah yes, the “well this defense is LIGHTS OUT against the run do not play anyone against them” argument. You know what this argument might actually work if we WEREN'T IN WEEK 4. That massive 3 weeks of data you have doesn’t mean shit and it even included one week of an rb doing just fine. Recommendations in the first 4 weeks should be illegal and carry the death penalty.
That’s a wrap. See you next week and remember: his twitter handle is @ifuckinsuckatmyjob so be sure to let him know when a player on his love list randomly blows out a knee ruining your week.
2018 Assist Raffle Tracker
T. Shannon - 24
J. Edwards - 1