By Jeff Edwards,Hawaii Humuhumu Nukunukuapua'a
Hawaii Humuhumu Nukunukuapua'a (J Edwards, 2-3) vs Reggie Ray (Renner, 1-4)
Both teams feature a hit-or-miss roster. Reggie Ray will need the right Eddie Lacy, Lamar Miller, and Jordan Matthews to show up or he may be in trouble. For Edwards, other than studs Aaron Rodgers and Deandre Hopkins, the rest of the Humuhumus could very well post decent yet unexciting lines. This matchup could be a tough fight, but don’t be fooled – there is no need to tune in to this yawn fest. Go watch Dan Moran play the recorder – it’ll be more entertaining, and easier on the ears than Renner yelling.
Dual Wielding Alpacas (Crispin, 4-1) vs. Team Jean Rack (Langtimm, 2-3)
I’m writing this on Friday afternoon. Devonta Freeman scored 31.6 points last night for the Alpacas and Crispin’s remaining lineup isn’t full of schmucks. Looks like Crispin is going to hang Langtimm on the Jean Rack, leaving Ryan at 2-4.
Hashtag Tommy (Tieds, 4-1) vs Cloudwalkers (Benda, 4-1)
In what should be the matchup of the week for the Royal Purple division, Hashtag Tommy’s squad doesn’t seem to have the firepower after losing Jamaal Charles to keep up with the Cloudwalkers this week. Timeshare members Joseph Randle and Rashad Jennings just won’t do it and we are still looking for Demarco Murray to show up, just like we keep looking for the slutty pumpkin girl from Halloween.
Vintage Bamrick (Postler, 1-4) vs California Boat Rockers (Ward, 3-2)
This is a matter of ‘which player shows up to play this week’. For Vintage Bamrick will Andrew Luck and Arian Foster finally live up to their names or will they piss the bed like a drunk Taylor Sweeney? The Boat Rockers are looking stingier with points than a Bryce Rockers; Ward will need Megatron, Brandon Marshall, and Carlos Hyde to work it like Ward on a DDR mat.
Dallas Flying Fortress (Tex, 2-3) vs ROBODRAGONS !!! (Pratt, 1-4)
This is the worst matchup of this week. Tex probably wins. In other news, they should’ve shown this video at our fraternity Sex Ed talks we had to check the box on.
Drone Rangers (Von G, 3-2) vs Fighting Firkins (Shannon, 3-2)
This is a link to WE ARE T SHAN, the touching 2009 Pulitzer Prize award-winning photo series. Not that anything else matters at this point, but I think T Shan eeks out the win, despite having CJ Anderson continuing to suck.
2018 Assist Raffle Tracker
T. Shannon - 24
J. Edwards - 1