Las Tortugas vs. Uncle Abe
The storyline that nobody is talking about (expect Davo) is Las Tortugas' unprecedented 17 game winning streak to open its D-League existence. Can Uncle Abe (2-0) be the team to finally pop their fantasy football cherry? Abe has had a great two games from TE Tyler Eifert, which nobody saw coming, to help fuel him to a 2-0 start. Julio Jones has been doing typical Julio Jones things as expected, coupled with Demaryius Thomas. Going with Eli Manning for too long is a ticking time bomb, but so far he's held up. Abe has a receiver heavy roster with a lot of high upside guys like Melvin Gordon and Julius Randle, so the potential is definitely there this week for someone to finally deflower Las Tortugas.
Las Tortugas (2-0) played just the tip with the loss column in Week 2 and benefited from Andrew Luck shitting his pants to narrowly extend their streak. Injury and suspension have played a part early on with Ellington, Foster, and Bryant out. Fill-ins Garcon and Chris Johnson have been adequate band-aids. With a lot of favorable matchups versus Uncle Abe, look for another break out, 120+ point week for Las Tortugas. Barring any further injury or ganja smoking, we have another juggernaut in the making.
Prediction: The Turtles of Mexican Heritage remain undefeated.
Duncombe Demons vs. Upper Decker
The Demons (1-1) haven't been bitten by the injury bug, they've been by the injury bear. Fortunately for T-Mike this week, he has what looks to be a more favorable matchup versus Stewart's Upper Decker who has a significant injury of their own. Brady has to have another break out performance for the Demons from rural Webster County. Ingram and Kelce have real potential to help and then maybe.......Mason Crosby after that? You have to dig pretty deep when you're top two picks go down and then you essentially lose DeAngelo Williams to the return of Le'veon Bell. Too bad Dusty or Langtimm aren't in this league to trick into making a ridiculous trade.
Upper Decker (1-1) has started the season on a strong note, falling victim to the Holzfallers breakout performance last week. However, it appears that Stewart has already given up on Drew Brees in lieu of the enigma that is Teddy Bridgewater. Bold move Cotton. We'll see if it pays off. Edelman has been a nice piece for UD and with Lacy out this week, it'll be important for that to continue. Normally, I would love Alfred Morris but with his decreases touches, he becomes less of a factor here.
Prediction: The Demons get shat on by Upper Decker and Stewart pulls out the victory.
Backalley Bootleggers vs. Arnie's Pizza Shop
This is an important early season match up for both teams. For the Bootleggers (1-1), a win here could propel them into a nice run and set them up for the playoffs. It would also erase some of the doubts caused by getting their dicks kicked in last week. They have the roster to do it with Manning, Gronk, and breakout threat Carlos Hyde. If DeMarco Murray can return to his old self, this team could be very dangerous despite their dismal Week 2 performance. Look for Peyton's first big performance of the year and Gronk to slay some bitches in Week 3.
Arnie's team (0-2) on the other hand needs a win to prevent himself from trending more towards a spot in the 2016 Gold League. He does have some hope with Palmer, McCoy, and CJ Anderson as potential fantasy stud muffins. Other than that his team is kind of all over the place with a mix of former fantasy stars and up and comers. The Patriots D could play a big role in getting APS in the win column as they go up against Jacksonville.
Prediction: The Bootleggers can win even with out DeMarco. I'll take the Unlawful Alcohol Producers.
The Mirthmobile vs. Haarig Holzfallers
Bite the pillow Mirthmobile (0-2), the Holzfallers (2-0) are coming in dry. Just by looking at the standings you can see this could be a mismatch. Bamrick's roster looks decent on the surface with a good mix of proven and under the radar players. What's up with Mike Evans? Mirth will need him to have a rebound game after posting zero points last week in a losing effort. Tannehill has yet to prove himself as a reliable QB, but the potential is there. AP should be able to get back on track this week with a T-Dizzle or two.
The Hairy Bastards have gotten off to a fantastic start posting two 130+ point weeks. He's had breakout performances from Hopkins, Ivory, and Fitzgerald so far on top of the always reliable Antonio Brown. Bianchi's team has all the momentum in this one with several good matchups this week. The Holzfallers are making a case for the team to watch in the President's league.
Prediction: Fear the Beard. Holzfallers.
Swamp Donkeys vs. Never Say Wombat
Somehow the Swamp Donkeys (1-1) managed to win last week. In order to win this week against Never Say Wombat (1-1), they'll need to do better. The 2014 White League Champs will be looking for big days from Rapelisberger, Megatron, and Emmanuel Sanders along with good contributions from others. This roster can be good, but it's very top heavy. Can Mike Wallace return to the deep threat he once was? What happened to Jeremy Hill? Why in the hell is Masker starting Darren Sproles? We'll find out.
Never Say Wombat is favored in this one for good reason. He has some really nice pieces who haven't been themselves yet this season, namely Lynch, Graham, and Watkins. As the Seahawks go, so will this team with three major contributors hailing from Seattle. I expect these guys to return to their normal winning ways in Week 3.
Prediction: The Fighting Johnny Bravos donkey punch the Swamp Donkeys.
Phuket Rippers vs. Dallas Dictators
The Phuket Rippers (1-1) get their prized first rounder back this week after Le'veon Bell's suspension. Add him into a very balanced team and you have a real threat. We'll see if Amari Cooper can follow up his first breakout our performance this week against the Dallas Dictators (0-2). Phuket also got a great waiver pick up this week with Starks. Even as a temporary addition, this could be key. Historically, Starks has sucked balls as a fantasy option but with the way the Packers have used Lacy, this time could be different.
With some awful Luck, the Dictators missed an opportunity to end Las Tortugas streak in Week 2. Despite the record, I do like this team. Charles, Luck, Cobb, and Robinson have the potential to put up big numbers. Then throw in Matt Jones emergence and you have a real chance to go on a nice run. The addition of Rodgers at TE is a smart pick up as the Pack are still trying to figure out where all of Jordy Nelson's looks are going to go. A+ to both teams on the waiver wire this week.
Prediction: Tough pick but Phuket, give me the Rippers.
2018 Assist Raffle Tracker
T. Shannon - 24
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