By Juice, Barking Spiders
Allright buttholes. Holy Bye Week for teams!! Only week that will be worse is next week. Week 8is upon us and there is one team which looks like its playoff bound for sure. Freaking Billy
Edwards. Somehow is 7-0. D.Butthole is in second place at 5-2. Tito is already doing better than
he did all of last year so he has a massive woody over this. HIs season is already a success.
D. Whit (Hellhounds) vs Raval (Barking Spiders)
Damn. That hellhounds symbol is freaking sweet. Thats all thats sweet about the hellhounds thisweek. A. Luck is the most hated fantasy QB because he gave teams hope. Ranking 22nd
amongst QB’s, he has a hellacious matchup against the Carolina D. Oh Shit…scrolled down
and saw that he is also starting Moncrief. Bad News. Huge upside to having Big Ben back for
A.Brown though. Both of us won our last games and as soon as I find a dumb ass QB to take offwaivers, im taking your ass DOWN!
D.Hanks vs K.Swinton (RedHawks)
Damn Hanks…since that point correction that gave you a win 4 weeks ago, you have taken a
serious nose dive into the realm of dusty’s deep dark butthole. Ill bet Chris Johnson is going to
penetrate the shit out of the cleveland Defense and will put up huge numbers and Hanks will
continue his freefall back into the gold league.
B.Nels vs A.Nigro
Both teams have a 3-4 record and neither team is really affected by the bye week situation so
this should be fairly good matchup. Lots of questions here. Will New England run the ball at all?
Will Cam Newton throw 3 INT’s? Can Detroit play in in Europe? Will Nigro start Rivers or
Rodgers? With the personnel Nigro has its hard not to give him the nod on this one.
T. Schmitt (God's Country Cat Daddies) vs The Po-Po
Poor T.J Poor, Poor TJ. His team WAS a nightmare to play. Consistently getting a shitload of
points and his record is worse than it should be…I mean, what can you do when the other team
scores 174 points (sorry, TJ). One team is on a W3, the other on a L3. Its going to be a rough
week for the Cat Daddies as Murray, Teldon on bye weeks, New England not running the ball,
and Foster being Donzo for the season. The Enforcers favored to win this one with Cutler
throwing the ball to his TE a lot.
D.Kroll vs Jesus walks
When you draft by committee plus, a touch of luck (Devonta Freeman, C.Palmer) , equals
Dustys 5-2 record. Having Edelman and GRONK helps immensely as well. On the other side,
you do have…uhhh…who drafted this crap? Dusty with the butthole blowout of the most racist
D.Schuchmann (Evil Knievels) vs B. Edwards
Billy Edwards wins because Dalton throws the ball to AJ Green. Oh, AJ Green only has 3 TDs?
Is it Antonio Andrews (who?)? …Nooooo. Oh…I forgot Dalton is lights out, Keenan Allen has his
first year of not failing at fantasy. But, in reality, its luck. he is ranked 6th in points scored and is
second to last for points allowed. Sadly, his opposing team is last in points scored against…and
last in points scored. Pure stats here…B.E goes to 8-0. I blame Schuch. IF only Dez was back
and Flacco would quit sucking balls.
2018 Assist Raffle Tracker
T. Shannon - 24
J. Edwards - 1