By Kristiaan - California RedHawks
While the Onion makes a great case for how Eli's favorite down is second down, I personally prefer the NYT article describing just how terrible the Giants loss was this last week. Between the mis-calc of the Dallas timeouts and telling Rashad 'not to score' the game was a comedy of errors - not unlike Juice's Barking Spiders sad wk 1 defeat with a score of 69.
White League had a pretty decent week overall, with three games being decided by less than 7 points and the balance being blowouts decided by at least 20.
Closest matchup of the week goes to the HellHounds vs. Rogue Squadron
While Hanks' starters performed well, with the Seahawks D at 18 points, the winning points were left on the bench with an unforeseen 16.1 points out of Darren Sproles over starter Shane Vereen with 8. Overall, the team played well and would have pulled out the win had it not been for the HellHounds TE Travis Kelce with 25.6 points. On top of an impressive 23 out of Antonio Brown, the Hellhounds took the win this week.
[Hellhounds 105.9 - Rogue Squadron 101.9]
Next up we had Cry Me a Rivers facing off against the always creative and never disappointing 'Team Nigro'. While Dusty was busy likely watching the wrong sport, his team crushed it. Gronk took down 3 touchdowns for an impressive 30 points and the rest of the team didn’t disappoint. More than that, there were points left on the bench despite the 131.5 that Cry Me A Rivers put on the board. Not to discount Team Nigro with a score of 125.2 leaving Bishop Sankey's 21 winning points on the bench.
[Cry Me A Rivers 131.5 - Team Nigro 125.2]
In an interesting strategy - despite not owning or playing a kicker - The Midwest Cat Daddies had the high score this week by a narrow margin coming out strong with 133.7. Strong showings by Julio Jones, DeAndre Hopkins and Jason Witten made for a close match between the opposing Tito Leewood's Killers. Sadly, TE Josh Hill put up a goose-egg for B-Nels despite an impressive performance by the extremely tiny wee little Danny Woodhead in SD. Though ESPN projections mean absolutely nothing, it appears B-Nels might have a hard time putting up the same numbers this week while Cat Daddies look pretty strong.
[Midwest Cat Daddies 133.7 - Tito Leewood's Killers 126.2]
In the case of the Barking Spiders vs. AP will Beat You All Day, well, both teams tried hard. The Colts did nothing to fuel Billy's 88.9 - 69 win scoring no points. CJ Anderson and Melvin Gordon also put up a disappointing combined 12 points though it was still plenty to take down the low score of the week from the Barking Spiders. Despite a good week from Romo, the Spiders couldn't cut it. AP had a very low wk 1 performance and overall watching the Vikings was pretty much exactly the same as last year. Here's to hoping that Teddy and AP will start to get a good rhythm and we can see another record season for AP. (or just a winning season, please…)
[AP Will Beat You All Day 88.9 - Barking Spiders 69]
Impressive TE performances seem to be a theme this week as Medieval Knievel's Tyler Effert brought down 2 touchdowns and over 100 yard for 26.7 points. We'll go ahead and ignore the piss poor 0.7 points from Flacco and just go ahead and say that the Knievel's are a good looking team with some top performers. Can’t say too much about the Enforcers - not a great week but an unfortunate injury in Q1 from Deshawn Jackson as well as points left on the bench might mean there's still a lot of upside here later on as Le'Veon Bell comes back and Jackson heals.
[Medieval Knievel's 102.6 - The Enforcers 76.6]
In our last game of the week the Glorious California Redhawks (such a majestic animal), took on the horrible Martyrs. Full disclosure, this is my game. More full disclosure, I won and I want to tell you that I won. In a fortunate turn of events after our draft, Deflategate's suspension was lifted and Tom Brady showed up to play. Putting up 27 points on top of what I would have to say are honestly average performances by the rest of the team, the Hawks put up 114 points. The Martyrs just had slow week with Forte putting up 25 but the rest of the team (and the bench) showing some poor performance. I can only hope Prieur decides to put in our fearless leader Eli Manning (over current starter Bradford) to lead the team into stupid stupid victory next week.
[Glorious California RedHawks 114.7 - Martyrs 87.9]
Best of Luck - KSWINT
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